One Word Survey: (no explanations allowed)
1. Yourself: Creative
2. Your Lover: Pending
3. Your Hair: Grrr
4. Your Mother: Social
5. Your Father: Strong
6. Your Favorite Item: Camera
7. Your Dream Last Night: Interrupted
8. Your Favorite Drink: Coffee
9. Your Dream Home: Villa
10. The Room You Are In: Upstairs
11. Your Pet: Adorable
12. Who You Are Now: Resourceful
13. Who You Want to be in Ten Years: Traveller
14. What You Want to be in Ten Years: Extraordinary
15. What You're Not: Finished
16. Your Best Friend: Canine
17. One of Your Wishlist Items: Lawnmower
18. Your Gender: Pink
19. The Last Thing You Did: Edited
20. What You Are Wearing: Hoodie
21. Your Favorite Weather: Warm
22. Your Favorite Book: Dalva
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Chocolate
24. Your Life: Exploration
25. Your Mood: Auspicious
Friday, March 31, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I heart surveys
Four jobs you have had in your life:
Bartender
Nanny
Desk job at Ben & Jerry's (right next to Jerry!)
Make-up counter girl
Four movies you would watch over and over:
The Godfather
Manhattan
Lost in Translation
About a Boy
Four places you have lived:
Upper west side of Manhattan
Aix-en-Provence
Vermont
Tucson
Four TV shows you love to watch:
The Shield
The Office
Arrested Develeopment
Sex and the City
Four places you have been on vacation:
Telluride
Puerto Vallarta
Greece
Copenhagen
Four websites I visit daily:
Flickr.com
Powells.com
Google
Pandora.com
Four of my favorite foods:
Artichokes
Tacos
Cashews
Mangos
Four places I would rather be right now:
Since *places* are generally accessible, if I'd really rather be someplace else, I probably would be.
Four places I *like* to be include:
At the movies
At the beach in the sunshine
Horseback riding through the desert
On a train.
Four things I always carry with me:
Camera
Pen & Paper
Hope
Curiosity
Bartender
Nanny
Desk job at Ben & Jerry's (right next to Jerry!)
Make-up counter girl
Four movies you would watch over and over:
The Godfather
Manhattan
Lost in Translation
About a Boy
Four places you have lived:
Upper west side of Manhattan
Aix-en-Provence
Vermont
Tucson
Four TV shows you love to watch:
The Shield
The Office
Arrested Develeopment
Sex and the City
Four places you have been on vacation:
Telluride
Puerto Vallarta
Greece
Copenhagen
Four websites I visit daily:
Flickr.com
Powells.com
Pandora.com
Four of my favorite foods:
Artichokes
Tacos
Cashews
Mangos
Four places I would rather be right now:
Since *places* are generally accessible, if I'd really rather be someplace else, I probably would be.
Four places I *like* to be include:
At the movies
At the beach in the sunshine
Horseback riding through the desert
On a train.
Four things I always carry with me:
Camera
Pen & Paper
Hope
Curiosity
Friday, March 10, 2006
Rules of Manhood
This is one of those spammy forward things - but I was plenty amused by it - so I figured I'd go ahead and post it here.
Rules of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.
We hope this clears up any confusion.
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
Rules of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.
We hope this clears up any confusion.
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
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